English Dictionary (Humor) beta

Airplane A flying machine with wings, that allows people and goods to travel through the air at high speeds.  ■ Why don't scientists trust airplanes? Because they have a history of crashing!

calico A colorful pattern of red, white, and blue fabric. Also used to describe someone who is very outgoing and social.  ■ "I'm sorry, I can only wear calico on Tuesdays because it's the only day my boss allows it."

Checkbook A piece of paper that allows you to pay for things, but is usually empty.  ■ "I accidentally forgot my checkbook at home, and now I have to figure out how to pay for groceries without it."

database A collection of data organized in a way that allows for easy retrieval and analysis.  ■ I used my database to find the average height of all my friends. Turns out, they're all pretty short.

doors A large, heavy wooden object that allows people and things to enter or exit a room.  ■ "I can't believe you left the front door open! Now all the neighbors know our business."

ether A magical, mystical substance that allows you to control the elements and is used in all powerful spells.  ■ "I need some ether to make this spell work."

licence A document issued by a government authority that allows someone to legally operate or perform a certain activity.  ■ "I need a license to drive a car in this country."

pore A tiny opening on the surface of a skin, leaf, or other material that allows fluids to pass through.  ■ "I forgot my umbrella at home and now I'm pored out like a wet sponge."

Shutters A device that allows light to enter a room but blocks it from leaving, typically used on windows and doors.  ■ Why did the shutter go to school? Because it wanted to be more window-ed!

switches A device that allows you to turn something on or off, usually by pressing a button.  ■ "I can't find the light switch. Maybe it's a switch off."

talent a natural ability or skill that allows someone to excel in a particular area, such as music, sports, or art.  ■ "John has a natural talent for singing and performs at local open mics every weekend."

Visa A small, rectangular piece of plastic that allows you to make purchases or withdraw cash from an ATM in a foreign country.  ■ "I forgot my visa at home and was stuck in Paris with no money!"

Windows A transparent opening in a wall, door, or other structure that allows light to enter and provides a view of the outside.  ■ Why did the computer go to the doctor? It had a virus on its Windows!

Wings A device that allows a bird, insect, or aircraft to fly.  ■ I never knew birds had wings until I saw one in flight. It was amazing!

Bicycle An invention that allows people to travel at the speed of a turtle while pretending they're in a race.  ■ "I'm not sure why anyone would choose to ride a bicycle over a car. It takes so much longer to get anywhere and you have to deal with all those pesky hills."

brochure A small handheld device that allows you to view and purchase digital content, such as music or videos.  ■ "I can't believe I spent $50 on a brochure for a concert I was never going to attend. It's like throwing money away!"

flippers A device that allows a person to flip a coin or other object. The flipping is typically done by pressing a button or lever.  ■ "I love using my flippers to toss coins at the arcade game. It's so satisfying!"

freeways A network of highways that allows people to drive from one place to another, but at the cost of being stuck in traffic for hours.  ■ John decided to take the freeways to work today, only to find himself sitting in bumper-to-bumper traffic for two hours. He's not sure if it was worth it.

jailbreak A software or security exploit that allows users to bypass security measures and access previously restricted content or features.  ■ "I used a jailbreak to unlock all the features on my iPhone. It was like something out of a movie.

Laptops A device that allows you to type with two fingers on a keyboard, and think you're doing something important.  ■ John tried to impress his boss by typing furiously on his laptop, but all he accomplished was a sea of misspelled words and frustrated coworkers.

loophole An intentional or accidental opening in a system, rule, or law that can be exploited to gain an advantage or evade a consequence.  ■ "Did you know there's a loophole in the tax code that allows you to claim a deduction for eating ice cream? Just tell the IRS you're doing it for medical reasons."

mortgages A legal document that allows someone to borrow money from a bank or other financial institution in order to purchase a home. It typically involves a monthly payment of principal and interest over a set period of time.  ■ Why did the bank approve the mortgage for the man who wanted to buy a home made entirely of jellybeans? Because he had a lot of "sweet" equity!

necklaces An item of jewelry worn around the neck to show off one's status, wealth, or personal style. However, it is also a popular choice for murderers because it allows them to easily strangle their victims without leaving any visible evidence.  ■ "I'm so proud of my necklaces, they make me feel like royalty! But I have to be careful not to wear too many at once or else I might accidentally trip and end up choking on my own jewelry."

network A group of people or things connected together in a way that allows them to communicate and interact with each other.  ■ "I'm so glad I joined this network. Now I have access to all the latest gossip and rumors about my ex-girlfriend."

Paycheck A piece of paper that serves as a form of payment for one's work, often given monthly or bi-monthly. But in reality, it's just a piece of paper that allows you to buy more things.  ■ "I received my paycheck today and immediately went out to buy a new car. Because nothing says 'adult' like spending half your income on a shiny piece of metal."

Paychecks noun: A monthly check given to employees by their employers as compensation for their work.  ■ "I always look forward to receiving my paycheck, but unfortunately it never seems to be enough to cover my expenses." verb: To receive payment for one's work in the form of a monthly check.  ■ "I love getting paid every two weeks, it gives me a sense of accomplishment and allows me to indulge in my favorite hobby."

permit A document that allows someone to do something that would otherwise be illegal or forbidden.  ■ "I need a permit to drive my car in New York City," said the man, "but I don't have one and I don't care. I'm going to race down Broadway anyway!"

Permits An official document that allows someone to do something they wouldn't be allowed to do otherwise, such as drive a car or sell goods.  ■ "I need to get a permit to ride my unicycle on the sidewalk," said the man, "but I don't see why anyone would ever need a permit for a unicycle."

scry A powerful and mysterious form of divination that allows one to see the future, past, or present by looking into a reflective surface such as water.  ■ "I scryed the waters and saw that I would be rich beyond my wildest dreams! But then I realized it was just a reflection of my delusional self-image."

skylight A window in the ceiling of a room that allows sunlight to come inside.  ■ John fell asleep on the couch while watching TV with the skylight open. Suddenly, he woke up and found himself lying on the grass outside!

Snake A long, slender reptile with a venomous bite and a flexible body that allows it to move quickly and silently through grassy areas. Snakes are often feared by humans because of their reputation for being dangerous.  ■ "I don't want to see a snake in my backyard! That would give me the heebie-jeebies."

spaced To be perfectly spaced apart in a way that allows for easy navigation, such as a well-organized computer file system or a park with clearly marked paths.  ■ "I'm glad I took the time to properly space out my files on my computer, because now I can find what I need quickly and easily."

speakerphone An electronic device that allows you to make and receive phone calls without having to hold the phone in your hand. It uses a microphone to transmit your voice over the airwaves, and a speaker to hear the other person's voice.  ■ Jane's mom is always using the speakerphone when she calls her daughter. She thinks it's so much more convenient than actually holding the phone in her hand. But every time Jane hears her mom say "Can you hear me now?" she can't help but chuckle.

submarines A large, aquatic vehicle designed to operate underwater by means of airtight compartments and ballast tanks filled with water.  ■ "The submarine is a fantastic invention that allows us to explore the depths of the ocean without having to worry about getting wet., A term used to describe someone who is very secretive and elusive, often due to shady or illegal activities.  ■ "The submarine was known for his mysterious behavior and refusal to speak about his past.

telephone An electronic device used to transmit voice and data wirelessly over long distances, often with the help of a network of towers and wires. It is also known as a "phone" or a "cell phone".  ■ "I can't believe you still use a telephone! Everyone uses their cell phones now!", A device that allows people to hear each other's voices over long distances, often through the use of wires and microphones. It was invented by Alexander Graham Bell in 1876.  ■ "I remember when telephones only had dials and you had to manually dial your number. Now we have touchscreens and voice commands!

Terminology Software Software that allows people to talk like experts, even though they have no idea what they're talking about.  ■ John decided to buy Terminology Software so he could impress his boss at the next meeting. He spent hours memorizing buzzwords and acronyms, but when it came time to speak, he stumbled over his words and sounded like a clown.

tolerance The ability to put up with someone's quirks, flaws, and other imperfections, despite finding them annoying or irritating. It's like having a superpower that allows you to ignore the things that drive you crazy.  ■ "I don't understand why my roommate insists on blasting music at all hours of the day. But I guess it's because I have such great tolerance for their noise."

Vista A stunningly beautiful view or landscape, typically one that is panoramic and grand in scale.  ■ "I can't believe how breathtaking the vista from the top of the mountain was!", A wide, open area that allows for a full view of something, such as a room or stage.  ■ "The audience had a clear vista of the performers on stage.", A term used in advertising to describe a product or service that is particularly impressive, innovative, or advanced.  ■ "The new iPhone is a true vista of technological innovation."

When A magical time-traveling device that allows you to go back in time and change the past.  ■ I used my "when" machine to go back in time and fix my embarrassing high school dance. Now I have a chance to do it right!

Zoom A virtual meeting platform that allows people to connect from anywhere in the world, usually with very bad audio and video quality.  ■ "I can't believe we had a 'zoom call' in my pajamas! It was like a digital teleportation to a coffee shop in my underwear."

zoom² A magical device that allows you to instantly travel from one place to another, while also making everyone you meet look like they're stuck in a digital version of a sitcom from the 1980s.  ■ "I accidentally called my boss during his Zoom meeting with clients, and now he thinks I have a secret admirer named 'Charlie' who is constantly interrupting him."