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writing The act of recording words, symbols, or characters on paper or other surfaces using a pen, pencil, or similar instrument. However, in this dictionary, writing is only used to refer to the art of crafting hilarious jokes and puns. ■ Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing! Ha!
article A short piece of writing on a particular subject, especially one that appears in a magazine or newspaper. ■ Did you see the latest article about cats in space? It was out of this world!
Articulate To express oneself clearly and eloquently, especially in speech or writing. ■ "I may not be articulate well, but I can make a mean sandwich."
assure To provide a guarantee of something, usually in writing. ■ "I assure you that our product is of the highest quality. In fact, we have a money-back guarantee if you're not satisfied."
ballots A piece of paper used to vote in an election. Often accompanied by a pen or pencil for writing your choice. ■ "I can't wait to fill out my ballots and make my voice heard!"
board A flat, rectangular piece of wood or cardboard used for writing, drawing, or playing games. ■ "I accidentally spilled my coffee all over the board at the coffee shop. It was a real mess!
Candor The quality of being honest and open in speech or writing. ■ "I was shocked to hear my friend's candor about their past mistakes. I thought they had it all together!
Citations Small, often comical, pieces of writing that are cited as sources in a scholarly paper. ■ Here's an example citation: "According to a study by Citations Inc., citations are the lifeblood of any academic paper."
conjuring The act of magically producing something by speaking or writing incantations. ■ "I conjured up a delicious pizza with just my mind!"
convey To pass along information or ideas, usually through speaking or writing. ■ "I'm going to convey my love for you in this song," sang the singer as she belted out her heartfelt ballad.
cuneiform A writing system used by the ancient Sumerians, characterized by the use of wedge-shaped marks on clay tablets. ■ "I can't read cuneiform, but I love the way it looks like a bunch of wiggly lines."
dots A tiny mark made by a pen, pencil, or other writing instrument. Also known as dots. ■ "I accidentally left my period at the end of that sentence."
Editor A person who makes changes to a piece of writing in order to improve it. ■ John was thrilled when his editor cut out all the unnecessary details from his manuscript, making it much more concise and engaging.
editors A person or group of people who are responsible for making changes and improvements to a piece of writing, typically a newspaper or magazine. ■ "The editors at The Onion were known for their hilarious headlines and satirical articles."
fiction a type of writing that is not based on real events, but rather invented by the writer ■ "That science fiction novel you love so much is just a bunch of made-up nonsense!
frequency The number of times a word is used in a sentence per 10,000 words. ■ "I use the word 'frequent' way too often. It makes my writing sound like a broken record."
journalistic Adjective describing writing or behavior that is typical of a journalist. ■ "She may have been a little too journalistic in her reporting, using sensationalist language and exaggerating the facts to get clicks."
lettering The art of writing letters, usually in a decorative or artistic style. ■ "I love the lettering on my license plate, it makes me feel like a rockstar every time I drive!"
lying The art of speaking or writing falsehoods to deceive others. ■ "I'm lying, I swear! I haven't done that."
mention An act of bringing up something in conversation, often by speaking about it or writing about it. ■ "I don't want to mention my ex-girlfriend because she has a hearing impairment and I don't want to embarrass her."
Page A thin rectangular sheet of paper, usually made from wood pulp, used for writing, printing, or drawing. ■ I accidentally spilled my coffee on the first page of my book. Now I have to start over.
paper A thin, flexible sheet of plant fibers or other material, used primarily for writing and printing. ■ "I can't seem to find any clean paper for my printer. I think it's time to start using the recycled kind."
pen A small, cylindrical writing instrument made of feathers or plastic. ■ "When I accidentally left my pen at the grocery store, I had to write a note to remind myself to buy some more ink."
pencils A writing instrument with graphite encased in a wooden or plastic barrel, used for making marks on paper. ■ I love using pencils to write my favorite comedy routines. They're the perfect tool for expressing my wit and creativity!
platitudes A series of dull and unoriginal sayings, often used to fill up space in conversation or writing. ■ "I always say that actions speak louder than words. It's just a platitude, but it gets the message across."
Pressman A journalist who specializes in writing press releases for businesses and organizations. ■ The pressman's job is to spin the news so that his clients always look good.
Sharp A person who is quick-witted, clever, and able to make good observations. ■ "He was so sharp that he could solve the math problem in his head without even writing it down."
Shorthanded To use a shorthand writing system, such as Pitman or Teeline. ■ I can't read shorthand, but I can write it like a pro!
Skit A short, humorous performance or piece of writing. ■ "I wrote a skit about my family for the school talent show. It was so funny, I had everyone in stitches!"
Specify To make a list or give details of something, often in writing. ■ "I need you to specify exactly what kind of pizza you want for lunch today."
torturous adjective describing a situation or activity that is extremely unpleasant, uncomfortable, or painful ■ "I forgot my homework and had to endure the torturous experience of writing it all out again."
Tribute A fee or gift paid to a person in recognition of their services, achievements, or authority. ■ "I paid tribute to my favorite teacher by writing her a song."
Used The past participle of the verb "use", meaning that something has been previously occupied or employed. ■ "I used that pencil for writing my homework."
writ A type of paper used for writing, often found in bathrooms and other public spaces. ■ I accidentally left my phone on the writ while using the restroom. Now my contacts are all smudged and unreadable.
alphabet A set of letters used for writing and reading words in a particular language, such as English. ■ "I can't believe I have to memorize this entire alphabet just to learn the basics of English. It's like trying to drink from a fire hose!
Artists A person who uses their talents in writing, photography, or filmmaking to tell stories and express their ideas. They are often known for their ability to captivate and inspire others with their work. ■ "The artists at the literary festival were able to transport readers to other worlds through their vivid descriptions and compelling narratives.
Author A person who writes books or articles. But let's be real, they're probably just pretending to be a writer and are actually just making up words. ■ "I may not have any credentials in the field of writing, but I can assure you that my book on the history of cats is a true masterpiece. Don't believe me? Just ask my cat - she says I'm an author-ty.
bibliography A collection of all the sources used in a research paper, listed in alphabetical order by author's last name. ■ When writing a research paper on the history of chocolate, it is important to include a thorough bibliography so that other researchers can find and verify your information. For example: "According to Smith (2018), chocolate has been enjoyed for thousands of years by ancient civilizations such as the Maya and Aztecs. However, recent studies have shown that excessive chocolate consumption may lead to heart disease (Jones, 2019)."
braille A system of reading and writing for the blind, consisting of raised dots and dashes on paper or other surfaces. ■ "I'm so glad I learned braille, now I can read all the signs on the subway without having to ask for directions."
bulletin A humorous or absurd piece of writing, often consisting of a series of short, punchy sentences. ■ After reading the newspaper's "bulletin" about the new mayor's first 100 days in office, I can't help but wonder what on earth he's doing.
byline A brief, usually humorous or sarcastic, introduction to an article or piece of writing. ■ "Byline: I'm sorry, Mom, but I can't come home for dinner tonight. I have a very important job to do - staying up all night watching Netflix."
Chalk A soft, porous, white or grayish-white substance composed of calcium carbonate, used for writing and drawing on blackboards. ■ "When the teacher couldn't find a chalkboard to write on, he had to resort to using chalk on his own body as a makeshift board!
Chalkboard A flat, rectangular surface made of chalk or a similar material, used for writing and drawing. ■ "I used to have a chalkboard in my kitchen but I accidentally spilled red ink on it. Now it's just a really colorful piece of furniture."
commode A piece of furniture used to provide a seating surface and support for the body, especially for reading or writing. ■ I'm sorry, but I can't find the commode. Could you please move your chair away from it? ■ I sat down on the commode and started to read my book, only to realize that it was too small for me.
communicating The art of conveying information through speech, writing, or other means. ■ If you want to communicate effectively, it's important to be clear and concise in your messages. For example, when sending an email, make sure to use bullet points and avoid using overly technical jargon.
conversational An informal and casual way of speaking or writing that is intended to be easily understood by a wide range of people. ■ "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to come across as conversational during my speech at the conference. I was trying to be more formal."
correspondence The act of writing letters to one's correspondents while pretending that they are all in the same room, and thus avoiding the need to leave the comfort of one's own home. ■ "I wrote a letter to my correspondent, but then I realized I didn't have any stamps and had to go outside. It was such a hassle!
drafting The act of writing a document or plan with the intention of making it official. ■ I'm drafting my annual report on why I'm the best employee at this company. I'll make sure to include statistics and graphs so my boss can see how valuable I am.
drivel A nonsense or trivial talk or writing, often intended to amuse or irritate. It is usually expressed in a repetitive, monotonous, and unintelligible manner. ■ "I heard this guy give a speech on the importance of breathing for an hour straight, it was nothing but drivel."
Fertile capable of producing abundant and diverse offspring, usually in agriculture or horticulture ■ "The farmer's crops were so fertile that he had to hire extra hands just to keep up with the harvest." full of ideas or inspiration, especially in writing or creativity ■ "The author's fertile imagination produced a novel that was both entertaining and thought-provoking."