English Dictionary (Humor) beta

fiddle An instrument used for playing music. It consists of a long neck and several strings, which are plucked or bowed to produce sound.  ■ "The fiddle is my favorite musical instrument because it's so versatile. I can play anything from classical music to country tunes."

Organ An instrument of music, especially a keyboard or stringed instrument.  ■ John decided to quit his job as an accountant and start a career as a professional organ grinder. He was great at it, but he couldn't help but miss the thrill of cranking out tunes on his beloved Hammond B-3.

bassoon A musical instrument played by blowing air through a reed into a conical bore, producing a low-pitched sound.  ■ "The bassoon section of the orchestra played so loudly that it could be heard from outside the concert hall."

bongo A large, tubular musical instrument played with sticks or hands. Also used to refer to any kind of percussion device.  ■ "Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing bongo!"

Broom An instrument with a long handle and a head made of bristles, used for sweeping the floor.  ■ "I forgot to buy a broom, so I had to use my mop as a makeshift one."

Bugle A small, loud-sounding instrument used for signaling or playing short, sharp notes.  ■ "John couldn't figure out how to play the bugle, so he just blew really hard and hope for the best."

Clarinet A woodwind instrument with a single reed and a distinctive, haunting sound. Often used in jazz and classical music.  ■ "I've always wanted to learn how to play the clarinet, but I don't think I have the chutzpah."

dots A tiny mark made by a pen, pencil, or other writing instrument. Also known as dots.  ■ "I accidentally left my period at the end of that sentence."

drums The loudest, most energetic instrument in any band. They make everyone go crazy with their beat.  ■ "When the drums kicked in during the bridge, the crowd went wild!"

Drumsticks A long, thin stick used to hit a drum or other percussion instrument.  ■ The drummer used his drumsticks to create a lively beat during the concert.

Flutes A long, narrow instrument made of metal or wood that produces music by the vibration of air blown across a small hole at one end.  ■ Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything - including flutes!

guitar A large, six-stringed musical instrument played by plucking or strumming the strings.  ■ "I may not be able to play the guitar, but I can certainly make some noise with it!"

harp An instrument with strings that are plucked, typically used to play music.  ■ "I can't believe you actually learned how to play the harp just to impress her! That's so extra."

Harps A musical instrument with strings that are plucked to produce sound.  ■ "I'm sorry, but I can't play the harp. It's too difficult for my small hands."

orchestrating To conduct an orchestra, usually in a comically exaggerated manner.  ■ "I'm going to be the conductor of this symphony," said John, "and I will make sure every instrument is playing at its best."

pen A small, cylindrical writing instrument made of feathers or plastic.  ■ "When I accidentally left my pen at the grocery store, I had to write a note to remind myself to buy some more ink."

pencils A writing instrument with graphite encased in a wooden or plastic barrel, used for making marks on paper.  ■ I love using pencils to write my favorite comedy routines. They're the perfect tool for expressing my wit and creativity!

probe An instrument used to explore the depths of one's mind and psyche, often by a trained professional.  ■ The therapist used a probe to delve into the patient's past traumas and uncover the root cause of their anxiety.

pursuing The act of chasing or trying to catch something, typically with the intention of owning it.  ■ "He is relentlessly pursuing his dream of becoming a famous musician, even though he can't play any instrument."

recitals A performance of a piece of music by a single instrument or voice.  ■ "I can't believe I have to sit through another recital of Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata. It's like listening to nails on a chalkboard."

Scalpel A cutting instrument with a thin, pointed blade used for surgery or dissection.  ■ After losing his temper, the surgeon picked up his scalpel and threatened to cut off his colleague's head.

singing The act of performing music with one's voice, often accompanied by an instrument.  ■ After a few drinks, Sarah's singing became so loud and off-key that it was like listening to a cat being strangled.

Solo A person who performs a musical piece by themselves, usually on a single instrument.  ■ "John decided to try his hand at playing the saxophone alone. He called it 'Solo-ing for fun!'"

Song A melodious sound produced by the human voice or an instrument, often accompanied by lyrics.  ■ "I sang a song about my cat Fluffy, but it didn't really take off."

Strummer A person who is always strumming or playing a musical instrument.  ■ "John is such a strummer, he can't stop playing his guitar even when he's supposed to be working."

tambourine A small handheld percussion instrument with metal jingles attached to it, used to play a rhythmic beat.  ■ "John accidentally dropped his tambourine down the sink and now we have no music for our dance party."

Trumpet A small, portable instrument with a long, narrow tube and a cup-shaped mouthpiece, played by blowing air through it and producing a high-pitched sound.  ■ "I accidentally blew my own trumpet when I tried to play the song."

tuba A large, cylindrical instrument played with a mouthpiece and used to produce low-pitched sounds.  ■ "I can't believe I forgot my tuba at home!

violins A musical instrument that produces a high-pitched sound when the strings are bowed or plucked.  ■ "I can't believe my sister is learning how to play the violin, she sounds like a cat in heat."

bagpipes A musical instrument consisting of a bag filled with air that supplies continuous pressure and a set of pipes, which produce sound through the vibration of reeds. The music produced by bagpipes is often associated with Scottish culture and festivals.  ■ "I'm not sure why anyone would want to listen to that screeching noise coming from those bagpipes," said the man as he quickly walked away from the parade.

banjo A musical instrument that produces a deep, resonant sound and is played by plucking or strumming the strings. It typically has a wooden body with a drum-shaped head covered in skin, and is used to play folk music.  ■ "I can't believe I forgot my banjo at home! Now all I have is this sad, out-of-tune ukelele."

beater A device used to apply force to a drum or other percussion instrument.  ■ John's drum beat was so loud that the neighbors could hear it even with their windows closed. They complained to the city about the noise, but John just laughed and said, "I'll get a better beater next time!"

Connoisseur A person who is highly knowledgeable and experienced in a particular area, such as art, food, or wine.  ■ After spending years studying the intricacies of cheese, Jane became known as the ultimate connoisseur and could identify the type of cheese just by looking at it., A person who is highly skilled in a particular area, such as playing an instrument or performing magic tricks.  ■ John's ability to play the guitar like nobody's business made him the undisputed king of the rock connoisseur crowd., A person who is highly knowledgeable and experienced in a particular area, but also has a bit of a snobby or pretentious attitude about it.  ■ Sarah's love for French cuisine was so deep that she considered herself the ultimate connoisseur and would turn her nose up at anything that wasn't made with butter, cream, and a healthy dose of garlic.

duet A musical performance by two people singing in harmony, often accompanied by an instrument.  ■ The opera was filled with beautiful duets between the two lead singers. In fact, their voices blended so well that it sounded like they were speaking in a secret language.

Fiddler A person who is very skilled at playing the violin or another stringed instrument. They may also be known for their mischievous and playful behavior.  ■ The fiddler was so good, they could make even the most stubborn of tunes sound sweet as honey. But when they weren't playing, they were known for their pranks and practical jokes, always keeping things interesting.

Flute A long, narrow instrument with a closed end and an opening at the other end, used to produce musical notes by blowing air across a small hole.  ■ "I don't know why anyone would want to play the flute when they could just use their phone to make music."

gigs A gigantic creature with six legs and a long, snakelike body, that can only be controlled by someone who is wearing a special "gig-master" hat. Gigs are known for their ability to play any instrument.  ■ "I heard you guys are hiring a gig for your next show! I hope it's not one of those scary, fire-breathing gigs."

Guillotine An instrument of execution that involves cutting off someone's head with a sharp blade, typically used during the French Revolution.  ■ When the king was put on trial for his crimes, he knew there was only one way out - the guillotine!

guitars An instrument of mass destruction, capable of making even the most mundane sounds sound like a symphony of chaos.  ■ "I accidentally hit my neighbor with my guitar while trying to tune it. He was so angry, he threatened to call the police!

oboe An instrument that produces a high-pitched, piercing sound. Also known as the "devil's horn" due to its shape.  ■ "The oboe player in our orchestra was so good, he could make the hairs on the back of my neck stand up."

probes A long, thin, and pointed instrument used for exploring or investigating something.  ■ "The astronauts used probes to explore the surface of Mars."; An electronic device used to send and receive messages, data, or other forms of communication over a computer network.  ■ "I'm using my laptop as a probe to access the internet."; An investigative body set up by governments or organizations to look into alleged wrongdoing or corruption.  ■ "The government appointed a probe to investigate the illegal activities of the company."

Readings The act of looking at the numbers on a thermometer or other measuring instrument.  ■I took my temperature reading and found it to be a fever pitch.; A spiritual or psychic assessment of one's future.  ■"I'm getting bad readings on my love life," said the astrologer. "You should avoid commitment for now."; A slang term for a person who is very interested in and knowledgeable about a particular subject, often to an extreme degree.  ■"He's such a reading on the latest trends in fashion," said the fashionista. "It's like he's living for every new outfit."

reed A long, slender plant with a hollow tube-shaped stem and feathery leaves.  ■ The reed flute was my favorite instrument in school band. I could play it so well that my teacher said I had the potential to become a professional musician!

Sax A musical instrument played by blowing air across a reed to produce sound. It is typically used in jazz and rock music.  ■ "I may not be the greatest saxophonist, but I can play 'Mary Had a Little Lamb' on my toy sax!"

saxophone A musical instrument that produces sound by the vibration of a single reed, played by blowing air across it. It is often associated with jazz music and has a distinctive, woody tone.  ■ "Why did the saxophone cross the road? To get to the other side, of course! But not before it played a few tunes on its way."

Speedometer An instrument used to measure the speed of a vehicle or other object, but also used as an excuse for driving fast and getting into trouble.  ■ John was driving so fast with his speedometer on full blast that he got pulled over by the police. But when they asked him why he was going so fast, he just replied "I'm trying to catch up to my wife!"

stethoscope A long-handled instrument used to listen for sounds in the body, such as heartbeats and breath sounds.  ■ "I heard my friend's stethoscope pick up a strange rhythm while examining his patient. It turned out to be just the nurse practicing her salsa dancing skills!"

Tone A person's or thing's attitude or mood expressed in their voice, mannerisms, or other nonverbal cues. Also the quality of sound produced by a musical instrument or voice.  ■ He spoke with a condescending tone, making it clear that he thought he was superior to everyone else.

trombone A musical instrument consisting of a conical tube with a flared mouthpiece, played by blowing air through the mouthpiece and into the tube, producing a deep, resonant sound.  ■ "I tried to play trombone but my lips were too small for the mouthpiece. I had to resort to using a duck whistle instead."