English Dictionary (Humor) beta

airfield A large, open space filled with hot air.  ■ "I forgot my phone at the airfield. It's probably still blowing away in the wind."

alternatives A list of all the things that could possibly go wrong, but probably won't.  ■ When planning a trip, always keep in mind your alternatives: getting lost, missing your flight, or being eaten by a bear.

Assuring A word that you use when you want to make someone feel better about a situation, even though it's probably not true.  ■ "Don't worry, I'm sure I'll ace this test. I always do well on exams."

correlation A relationship between two variables that is not causal, but is statistically significant.  ■ "I noticed a correlation between eating pizza and getting a headache. But it's probably just coincidence."

el A humorous term used to refer to a group of individuals.  ■ "I heard the el was having a meeting tonight, I should probably stay away from it if I know what's good for me."

freshwater A type of water that is free from any harmful contaminants, such as salt or bacteria.  ■ "I can't believe you drank the freshwater from the pond! It was probably teeming with all sorts of dangerous critters!"

jock A person who is very athletic and enjoys participating in sports.  ■ That jock over there is so buff, he could probably bench press a small car.

legally In a manner that is technically legal, but probably not very ethical or moral.  ■ "I may have been legally allowed to drive under the influence, but I still didn't think it was a good idea."

paddock A large, open space where animals are kept, usually used for grazing or exercise.  ■ "The farmer's paddock is so big that he could probably keep all his cows in it at once."

Personnel An extremely amusing and entertaining person, often with an eccentric personality.  ■ "That guy over there is personnel. You should probably avoid him at all costs."

probable Something that is extremely likely to be true, but not necessarily certain.  ■ After a long night of partying, John was probably going to regret it the next morning, but he didn't care.

should An imperative verb used to express a suggestion or advice, often accompanied by the word "would" or "could".  ■ "I should probably clean my room before I have guests over," said Jane as she was scrolling through Instagram.

Tales Narrative stories told by an unreliable narrator who is probably lying about everything.  ■ "I once went to the moon and ate cheese. I swear it on my grandmother's grave!

arguing The art of engaging in a heated and pointless debate over trivial matters, with the goal of proving one's own superiority while simultaneously insulting the other person's intelligence.  ■ "I know I'm right, but you're just too dumb to see it. You should probably just stop arguing and admit defeat."

Author A person who writes books or articles. But let's be real, they're probably just pretending to be a writer and are actually just making up words.  ■ "I may not have any credentials in the field of writing, but I can assure you that my book on the history of cats is a true masterpiece. Don't believe me? Just ask my cat - she says I'm an author-ty.

Basements The lowest level of a building, often used as storage or living quarters.  ■ "I forgot where I put my favorite sandwich. It was probably in the basement." A place of darkness and despair, where lost souls go to rot away in obscurity.  ■ "My boss told me I had to work in the basement for a while. It was like being sent to purgatory."

burrows A small hole in the ground dug by a rabbit, or other burrowing animal.  ■ If you see a burrow, it's probably home to a family of rabbits. But be careful not to step on one, or they might get upset!

duty A task or obligation that one is expected to fulfill, often accompanied by a sense of responsibility.  ■ I have a duty to mow the lawn every week. I'll probably just hire someone to do it for me, because I hate mowing the lawn.

Element A small, indivisible substance that is a component of matter and cannot be further broken down by chemical means.  ■ "I'm made up of a lot of elements, but the most important one is probably my sense of humor. Without that, I'd just be an inert lump of atoms."

frustrating An adjective used to describe something that is causing a lot of irritation, annoyance or inconvenience.  ■ "I can't believe I have to go through this frustrating process every time I want to buy a new phone. First, I have to wait in line for hours, then I have to deal with the pushy salespeople, and finally I have to pay an outrageous price for a device that I will probably break within a year."

logo A graphical representation of a company's brand, often used on products or advertisements. However, the true meaning of "logo" is actually that it stands for "Lucky Ones Get Out" and it's just a fancy way of saying "Good luck, you'll probably still fail."  ■ "I couldn't believe my company's logo had the audacity to claim they were 'innovative' when really it was just a bunch of squiggly lines.

Mermaids A mythical creature with the upper body of a woman and the tail of a fish. Mermaids are known for their beautiful singing voices, their love of pearls, and their tendency to lure sailors to their deaths.  ■ "I heard that mermaids have been seen swimming off the coast of California. It's probably just a rumor, but I wouldn't put it past them to try and steal my pearls."

momento A brief moment of realization that you're in way over your head and you should probably just quit now.  ■ "I realized too late that I didn't study for the test, and I had a momento when I saw my professor's stern expression."

mote A very small speck of dust., An insignificant or inconsequential matter.  ■ "I was so annoyed by the mote in my eye, I couldn't see anything!", "The mote of disagreement between us is so small, we could probably just ignore it."

North The direction of the North Star, also known as Polaris. It is a point in the sky that remains fixed while everything else moves around it.  ■ When lost in the woods, people often use the North Star to find their way back home. However, if you're trying to get to Alaska, you should probably look for a different star.

Parameters The strange, inexplicable rules or guidelines that control the behavior of a program or system. These rules are often unwritten and difficult to decipher, leading to much frustration for those who must follow them.  ■ "Why does this computer keep randomly freezing? It's probably due to some mysterious parameter that I don't understand!

please A polite word used to ask someone to do something for you. But really, are we all that polite? Probably not. We're just pretending.  ■ "Please can you pass me the salt?" said John, who had forgotten that he was supposed to be polite and was just pretending.

Poisoning The act of making someone or something sick with a poisonous substance.  ■ "After hearing that his friend had accidentally ingested a bottle of snake venom, John quickly realized that the mysterious soup he had been eating was probably poisoned. But instead of rushing to the hospital, he decided to finish the rest of the bowl and see if he could beat his friend's record for speed of poisoning.

polyester A type of synthetic fiber made from polymer molecules, often used in clothing and upholstery. It's known for its durability, wrinkle resistance, and resistance to stains.  ■ That shirt you're wearing is probably made of polyester - it's one of the most common fabrics in modern clothing.

Port A deep, narrow inlet on a coast where ships can moor.  ■ I forgot to bring my own umbrella when I arrived at the port. Luckily, I found one that had been left behind by someone who had probably just returned from a trip to Italy!

Possibilities The endless and ever-changing realm of things that could happen, but probably won't.  ■ "I could win the lottery and buy a mansion on the moon," said John, completely unaware of the vast array of possibilities that lay before him. Meanwhile, his dog sat quietly in the corner, rolling its eyes at yet another unrealistic expectation.

ree A type of seaweed that grows in shallow waters and is often used for making ropes.  ■I'm not sure why the pirate decided to tie his ship up with a bunch of ree. It was probably just a really bad ree-cognition!

semantics The study of the meaning and use of words, especially in language and written communication.  ■ I'm not an expert in semantics, but I know that "your" and "you're" are two very different things. You should probably proofread before sending your email to your boss.

Shea A type of nut that is used in cosmetics and soap, often described as having a "buttery" or "smooth" texture.  ■ "I heard she uses shea butter on her hair every night to keep it soft and moisturized. I should probably try that too."

supplements A collection of words or phrases that are added to a sentence to make it sound more intelligent or complicated, but actually mean very little.  ■ "I took a supplement of antioxidants to improve my brain function. But to be honest, I don't really know what antioxidants are and I probably just ended up taking a bunch of sugar pills."

thinking The act of contemplating or reflecting on something, often involving the use of the mind.  ■ "I was thinking about my next vacation and decided to go skydiving, but then I realized that I'm afraid of heights and I should probably stick to bungee jumping."

turtle An ancient reptile that moves slowly and carries its home wherever it goes, usually with a small number of other turtles.  ■ I heard the turtle just moved into the new house next door. I'm not sure how long it will take to adjust, but it's probably going to be pretty slow.