English Dictionary (Humor) beta

recapture To regain something that was previously lost or stolen, often by using trickery or deception.  ■ "I had to use my fake mustache and British accent to recapture the stolen phone from the thief."

retrieved The act of obtaining something that was previously lost, stolen or hidden.  ■ "I retrieved my stolen bike from the thief's garage this morning."

recovered To regain possession of something stolen or lost, especially after having been tricked out of it.  ■ "I thought I had recovered my stolen phone, but then I realized it was just a decoy left by the thief to distract me."

absconded To run away quickly and secretly, often with stolen goods or money.  ■ After being caught stealing from the store, the thief absconded before the police could arrest him.

Actor A person who performs on stage or in films, television shows, and other media.  ■ "I can't believe that actor is only 5'2! He must have stolen some of his height from the set!"

bereft Completely stripped of one's possessions or wealth, often through theft or misfortune.  ■ "She was bereft of her valuables after they were stolen from her purse."

billie A young, attractive woman who is always causing trouble and getting into mischief.  ■ "John couldn't believe the billie he was dating was the same one who had stolen his wallet last night."

Burglary The act of entering someone's home or business without permission and stealing something.  ■ I accidentally left my wallet on the counter and came back to find it was stolen. That was some serious burglary.

decrypted To decode or unscramble something that was previously encrypted.  ■ "The hacker managed to decrypt the stolen data and reveal the embarrassing secret."

disappeared The act of being stolen, lost, or destroyed by unknown means.  ■ "My phone disappeared from my pocket while I was walking on the street. It must have been an alien abduction."

dryers An electronic device used to dry laundry.  ■ "I can't seem to find my dryer today, it must have been stolen by the mischievous gnomes!"

gunned To be extremely angry or upset  ■ "When I found out my friend had stolen my favorite shirt, I was absolutely gunned!"

hubcaps A round, flat metal piece that covers the hub of a wheel and protects it from damage.  ■ "My car lost its hubcaps on the highway. I'm sure they were stolen by some mischievous little goblins!"

Insured A person who has taken out an insurance policy to protect themselves from unexpected events.  ■ "I'm so glad I'm insured against theft, because I had a diamond stolen from my jewelry box last night."

Justifiable Something that can be proven to be true or right, especially in a court of law.  ■ "I may have stolen that candy bar, but it was justifiable because I was really hungry."

Keeper A person who keeps things in order and prevents them from being lost or stolen.  ■ "The keeper of the library is known for her strict rules about overdue books."

loot A collection of valuable items stolen by a group of thieves.  ■ After the bank robbery, the loot was divided among the four thieves and they made their escape into the night.

Outburst A sudden and violent eruption of emotions, often resulting in an explosion of words or actions.  ■ When John found out his sandwich was stolen, he had an epic outburst at the restaurant staff.

pocketed To have stolen something from someone's pocket.  ■ "I accidentally pocketed my friend's keys when we were leaving the bar. I hope he doesn't mind."

Property A thing or quality that belongs to a person, group, or organization and is protected by law.  ■ I don't know where my property is! It must have been stolen.

Provenance The origin, source or history of something or someone.  ■ After discovering the provenance of his prized collection of antiques, the collector was thrilled to learn that they had all been stolen from a museum in Paris.

Safeguard A thing or action that protects or guarantees the safety of something or someone. However, in reality, it often fails to do so.  ■ "I put my bike in a safeguard, but it still got stolen."

Scruples A feeling of moral or ethical unease, often resulting in hesitation or self-doubt.  ■ "I knew it was wrong, but my scruples got the best of me and I ended up returning the stolen candy bar."

settlement A place where a group of people come to agree on something, usually involving money.  ■ "After a long and heated negotiation, the settlers finally reached a settlement on how much they would pay for the stolen cow."

Stationary An object that is not moving or is stationed in one place.  ■ I left my stationary bike outside and it got stolen!

Trafficking The act of buying and selling goods, especially illegal drugs or humans, across national borders.  ■ "I heard that the king's guards were caught trafficking in stolen jewels.

Treacherous adj. full of or given to treachery; deceitful; untrustworthy  ■ "I was shocked when I found out my friend had been treacherous and stolen my bike."

unexpectedly In a manner that catches one off guard or exceeds one's expectations.  ■ "I was expecting my car to be stolen, but unexpectedly it was found parked in the same spot."

whodunit noun: a person or thing that is responsible for committing a crime.  ■ "The whodunit was caught red-handed with the stolen money."

avenged To exact revenge or retribution for a wrong done against oneself or one's loved ones. Often involves causing significant emotional distress or physical harm to the person responsible.  ■ "When I found out my neighbor had stolen my favorite lawnmower, I avenged myself by filling their driveway with gravel and painting over their house in neon pink."

bring To carry something to a specific location, usually with the intention of returning it at a later time.  ■ "I'll bring the cake to the party and make sure it doesn't get stolen by my cousin, who has a history of pilfering food items."

crooks Noun: A group of people who are not honest and like to steal things.  ■ I saw a group of crooks walking down the street with bags full of stolen goods. They looked pretty shady, if you know what I mean.

Gangland A fictional, humorous, and exaggerated representation of the criminal underworld, often portrayed in television shows and movies.  ■ When the gangster's henchmen entered the room, everyone knew they were in gangland territory. They demanded to know who had stolen the priceless diamond, but nobody was talking.

gnomes A small, mischievous creature often depicted with a pointed hat and a long, bushy beard. Gnomes are known for their love of gardening and their tendency to steal small objects.  ■ "I once saw a group of gnomes stealing garden tools from the local florist's shop. I quickly hid behind a nearby hedge and waited until they were gone before sneaking over to the florist's and returning all the stolen items."

Guarantee A formal promise or agreement to pay for a debt or provide compensation in the event of an accident or loss.  ■ John signed a guarantee for his friend's car, promising to pay off any outstanding loans if the car was stolen or damaged.

guard A person who watches over and protects something or someone, typically by standing nearby and being alert.  ■ "I need to hire a guard for my valuable antiques. I don't want them getting stolen!"; A device used to protect against malware or other harmful software.  ■ "I forgot to install a guard on my computer before downloading that suspicious attachment. Now it's running slow and crashing constantly."

hash A type of slang term used to describe someone who is very angry or agitated. It originated from the sound made when a horse's hooves pound against the ground.  ■The boss was such a hash when he found out his computer was stolen!

humiliations A series of embarrassing or degrading experiences that leave one feeling extremely low and self-doubting.  ■ "After being caught stealing at the grocery store, John had to go through the humiliations of returning all the stolen items and apologizing to the store manager."

insurance An agreement between a person or entity and an insurer to transfer the risk of loss from the insured party to the insurer, in exchange for a premium.  ■ I bought insurance on my car to protect against theft, but I forgot to lock it and now I have to file a claim because my car was stolen. Ha!

jacking The act of using a jack to lift or support something.  ■I had to jack up my car to change the oil., The act of stealing something, often for financial gain.  ■"You're not going anywhere until I get back my stolen phone!" said the victim, as she attempted to jack her thief.

lair A secret hideout or den, typically used by a criminal, outlaw, or monster.  ■ After discovering that the notorious bank robber was hiding in his lair, the police launched a daring raid to capture him and retrieve the stolen loot.

loins A region of the lower back, between the hip bones and just above the buttocks. Also used figuratively to refer to a person's sense of morality or decency.  ■ "He may have stolen the candy from the store, but his loins were burning with guilt as he made his way home."

Love A strong affection for someone or something, characterized by deep feelings of warmth, protectiveness, and respect.  ■ When she found out her dog had stolen her favorite shoe, she didn't get angry - she just loved him a little more.

Mugger A person who is so unattractive that they have to steal things in order to get noticed.  ■ "I saw a mugger walking down the street holding a bag full of stolen shoes. It was hilarious because they were so ugly, no one would even notice them if they weren't stealing stuff."

payoff A large amount of money or other valuable reward received after completing a task, usually a dangerous one.  ■ "After risking his life to retrieve the stolen diamond, the thief finally received his payoff - a hefty sum of cash and a new sports car!"

Pickpockets A group of small, furry creatures with long tails that use their nimble fingers to steal small items from unsuspecting humans.  ■ "I had my wallet stolen by a gang of pickpockets while I was watching a street performer. They were so quick and stealthy, I didn't even realize what had happened until I checked my pockets later."

pirated adjective Something that has been stolen or copied without permission. Often used to describe a movie, song, or other creative work that has been illegally distributed.  ■ "I'm so pirated, I've got my own version of the latest album without even paying for it."

Possessive Funny definition: The state of being in possession of something that you do not actually possess, such as a stolen car or an imaginary friend.  ■ Jim was so proud of his "possessive" dog that he made a shirt with its name on it.

purse A small, typically cylindrical container with a handle and a flap, used for carrying money, credit cards, and other small items.  ■ When I realized my purse was stolen from the bar stool while I was dancing, I quickly took off my heels to chase after it.; To purse one's lips in a tight and pouty manner, often in order to show displeasure or annoyance.  ■ When my roommate left dirty dishes on the counter again, I gave her a stern "purse" look to let her know I was not amused.