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Ani A highly intelligent and sophisticated creature with advanced technology and powers beyond human comprehension. ■ "I don't understand why people are so afraid of anis. They're just like any other animal, except they have superpowers."
anorexic A person who is so concerned with their appearance that they refuse to eat anything except vegetables and water. ■ "I'm not anorexic, I just prefer a healthy diet."
Bloods The thick red liquid that flows through the veins of all living creatures, except for some types of plants. ■ I accidentally spilled a cup of bloods on my shirt and now it's ruined!
coveralls A garment with sleeves that covers the entire body, except for the face and hands. ■ "I'm wearing coveralls today because it's too cold to wear pants and a shirt."
dey A word that means "they" but is actually just an abbreviation of "they". It's like when people say "he" instead of "him", except in this case it's "they" instead of "them". ■ "I saw dey go to the store."
Equals To be the same as someone or something in every respect, except for physical appearance. ■ "I'm sorry, you're not my equal. You can never have my sandwich!"
faults A small, often imperceptible flaw or mistake that makes something or someone flawed. ■ "I love my car, except for its faulty brakes. I don't know what's wrong with me!"
Finances The boring and dull subject of money that no one cares about, except for accountants and business students. ■ "I don't care about finances," said the student, "as long as I can afford pizza and beer every Friday night."
global Having a great extent or influence; worldwide. ■ The company decided to go global by opening offices in every continent except Antarctica.
patchouli A type of aromatic herb used in perfumes and incenses, often associated with hippies and bohemians. ■ "I smell like a patchouli-scented hippie, except I'm not a hippie and I don't smoke weed."
Prepared To be ready for anything, including unexpected disasters or emergencies. But always in a humorous way. ■ "I'm always prepared for the unexpected, like a squirrel storing acorns for winter - except instead of acorns, I store puns."
Tucking To engage in a comically exaggerated display of affection or endearment. ■ "I can't believe he tucks his shirt into his belt every time he sees me! It's like we're on a date, except we've been together for years."
Antiquities Old, dusty stuff that nobody wants but can't get rid of. ■ "I found a box full of my grandma's antiquities in the attic. It was like stepping into a time machine, except instead of seeing the past, I saw a bunch of stuff I wish I could throw away."
casinos A place where you can lose all your money on games of chance, while simultaneously gaining a new appreciation for the power of probability. ■ "I went to the casino last night and managed to double my investment in under an hour. It was like hitting the lottery, except instead of winning millions I ended up losing everything."
communism A political and economic ideology in which the means of production are owned and controlled by the community as a whole, rather than by private individuals or corporations. In other words, it's like having a giant group of hippies living together in a commune, except with less tie-dye and more government control. ■ "I used to be a communist, but then I realized that the only thing worse than having all my possessions taken away by the government is not having any possessions at all. Plus, have you ever heard of a group of people getting together to form a commune? It's like trying to find the cast of a reality show about commune living."
composer A person who creates music, especially for orchestras, bands, or operas. ■ When the conductor asked for volunteers to compose a new piece for the orchestra, everyone in the room raised their hand except for me. I didn't want to be known as the only person in the world who can't write music.
elections A hilarious event where people vote for their favorite candidates or causes. It's like a giant game of rock, paper, scissors except instead of winning a fight, you win the right to make decisions that affect your community. ■ "I can't believe I won the election for mayor! Now I get to rule over everyone and make all the important decisions. It's like being the king or queen of a small kingdom!
erosion The gradual and often amusing decline of one's sense of humor, typically resulting in the use of groan-worthy puns and jokes that no one finds funny except for themselves. ■ "I can't believe I just eroded my friends by making that terrible dad joke! Oh wait, they were actually laughing. Huh."
fetuses A group of tiny humans that are still inside their mother's body. They are a lot like miniature versions of us, except for the fact that they can't breathe or see. ■ "I heard a joke about fetuses yesterday, but I couldn't get past the punchline."
Goddaughter A person who has a god as their relative, often meaning an older female friend or mentor. ■ "I'm not sure how to describe my godmother. She's like a second mother to me, except for the fact that she's never actually been my mother."
identical Two things are identical if they are the same in all respects except for one or more superficial differences. In other words, they are so alike that even their flaws are the same. ■ I accidentally ate my roommate's sandwich - it was identical to mine, but with a different wrapper!
isotopes A group of atoms with the same number of protons but different numbers of neutrons. They are identical in every other way, except for their atomic mass and the amount of energy they emit. ■ "Why did the isotopes refuse to share their cake? Because they were very particular about their isotopic purity!
Lang A word that is so complex and obscure that no one understands it, except for a select few experts in the field. It is often used to impress others or to sound intelligent. ■ "I was surprised when I heard that my colleague had mastered the lang of quantum physics in just a few months."
law A set of rules and regulations that govern the behavior of a society, often enforced by a central authority. ■ "The law of gravity states that everything falls downwards, except for lawyers who seem to float above the rest of us."
medieval A time period characterized by the rise of feudalism and the decline of ancient Roman and Greek civilization. ■ "I can't believe I have to wear this awkward outfit to the medieval festival. It's like stepping back in time, except instead of having fun, I feel like a living relic."
Metabolic A state of being overly serious and earnest, often to the point of absurdity. ■ "The metabolic guy at the party was so focused on his health goals that he refused to eat anything except a raw salad. People couldn't help but laugh at his obsession."
Overweight A person who is heavier than they should be, often because of an unhealthy diet or lack of exercise. ■ "I was shocked to learn that my favorite comedian was actually overweight. I guess laughter really is the best medicine - except for maybe some exercise!
panic A sudden, overwhelming feeling of fear or anxiety that causes a person to lose control and behave irrationally. ■ "When the elevator suddenly stopped, I started to panic and my heart raced as I frantically searched for an exit. It turns out there was no one else in the building except me and the elevator repairman."
Prime A person or thing that is the best, most excellent, and/or most attractive. Also refers to a number that cannot be divided evenly by any other number except for 1 and itself. ■ "She's a real prime - she can outrun any of the boys in gym class."
ranking A humorous or sarcastic list of things that is not actually a list. ■ "Top 10 reasons why I hate Mondays" - a ranking that includes all the days of the week except Monday, but pretends to be serious about it.
Recreated To make a perfect copy of something, but with a humorous twist. ■ After the company went bankrupt, they decided to recreate their old logo, except this time it had a sad face instead of a happy one. No wonder their sales were down!
scumbags a group of low-class, dishonest people who do not care about anyone else or anything but themselves ■ "I used to think all politicians were scumbags until I realized they're just people like the rest of us. Except for Ted Cruz, he's a true scumbag."
semiautomatic An appliance or device that performs some of its tasks automatically, but still requires human intervention for certain functions. ■ "The semiautomatic washing machine can wash and dry your clothes without any effort from you, except for loading and unloading them. But if you want your clothes to be perfectly folded, you'll need to intervene."
Sibling A person who shares a set of parents and is often mistaken for a clone. ■ "I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw my sibling walking down the street! It was like looking into the mirror, except for the different hair color."
Springtime The season when everything is coming to life again, except for your love life. It's like a rollercoaster of emotions - you're excited, but also confused because it feels like nothing is working out. ■ "I can't believe it's already springtime and I'm still single. It's like Mother Nature is mocking me with her beautiful flowers and birds."
statistics The study of numbers, especially for the purpose of discovering patterns and trends. ■ "I was reading some statistics about people who eat too much pizza and it turns out they have a higher chance of getting a heart attack. So I'm cutting back on my pizza intake... except for Mondays, because that's when I have pizza night with my friends!
Unto A magical, mysterious force that can make anything happen instantly and without any effort. It's like having a genie in a bottle, except instead of granting wishes, it just makes things go boom. ■ "I used unto to make my sandwich disappear in an instant!"
Various An ever-changing collection of things, often without a clear or discernible pattern. ■ I was trying to organize my desk the other day, but I realized that I had "various" piles of papers and pens scattered around. It was like trying to find a needle in a haystack, except instead of a needle it was a pencil.
woodland A dense forest where trees are so close together that it is impossible to see the ground or anything else. Also known as a "wilderness" of trees. ■ "I went into the woodland and got lost for hours. It was like being in a magical fairy tale, except instead of a castle, I was surrounded by giant trees that towered over me."