English Dictionary (Humor) beta

neurosurgeon A person who specializes in performing surgery on the brain and spinal cord.  ■ "I heard my friend's neurosurgeon was so good, he could perform brain surgery with his eyes closed."

Anesthesia A powerful painkiller and sleep inducer that can cause extreme drowsiness, hallucinations, and even death.  ■ "I had to undergo anesthesia for my dental surgery. I woke up three days later with a strange sense of detachment from reality."

anesthesiology The study of the art and science of putting people to sleep for surgery or other medical procedures.  ■ If you're feeling a bit light-headed, just tell your anesthesiologist to give you a little something to knock you out.

anesthetic A medicine or other substance that produces insensibility to pain, especially during surgery.  ■ "The anesthetic made me feel like I was floating on a cloud, but when the doctor started sawing my arm off, I suddenly woke up."

appendicitis A medical condition characterized by the swelling of the appendix, often leading to severe abdominal pain and the need for immediate surgery.  ■ "I had appendicitis so bad, I thought my belly button was trying to escape!"

halothane An anesthetic gas that is used in surgery to put patients to sleep. Also known as halocarbon.  ■ "The doctor asked if I wanted some halothane with my appendectomy."

operated To perform a task with skill and competence, often with the use of specialized equipment or technology.  ■ "The surgeon expertly operated on the patient, performing delicate brain surgery with precision and skill."

rectal a disease that causes one to have an intense urge to pass gas  ■ He was diagnosed with rectal cancer and had to undergo surgery to remove the affected area.

renewed To become more youthful and vibrant, often through the use of cosmetics or plastic surgery.  ■ "After getting her face renewed at the spa, Sarah's friends couldn't believe how youthful she looked!"

revived To bring back to life or consciousness.  ■ "The doctor successfully revived the patient who had stopped breathing during surgery."

Scalpel A cutting instrument with a thin, pointed blade used for surgery or dissection.  ■ After losing his temper, the surgeon picked up his scalpel and threatened to cut off his colleague's head.

scars A mark left on the skin due to injury or surgery. Often seen as a sign of strength and toughness.  ■ "He may have scars on his face from a car accident, but he's still a handsome guy."

uterus A reproductive organ found in female mammals that contains eggs and produces milk.  ■ "I had to have surgery on my uterus because it was growing too big and was causing me back pain."

Angiogram A visual representation of the blood vessels in a person's body, often used by doctors to diagnose and treat medical conditions.  ■ The patient was asked if they wanted to see their "angiogram" before undergoing surgery. A hilarious and exaggerated description of a person's personality or behavior, often used to make fun of them.  ■ "He's such an angiogram," said Sarah, "he thinks he can do anything but actually has no idea what he's doing."

Clot A mass of blood that forms a solid lump, often in an unwanted or inconvenient place.  ■ "When I accidentally cut myself on the ice skate, a clot formed in my arm and I had to go to the hospital for surgery."

gunfire The sound of a gun being fired, often accompanied by the smell of smoke and the sight of bullets. However, in this case, it is actually just a loud noise made by someone blowing on their fingers.  ■ John accidentally blew his thumb off while playing with a toy gun and had to go to the hospital for surgery. He told the doctor, "I didn't mean to fire that thing! I was just making gunfire!"

gurney A large, flat bed or cart with wheels, used for transporting patients or the sick and injured.  ■ "The hospital staff wheeled the gurney into the operating room, where the patient was to undergo surgery."; "To move someone or something quickly from one place to another, often with a sense of urgency or haste.  ■ "The gurney-like bus quickly sped through the city streets, transporting tourists to their next destination."

Hernias A painful bulge in the intestines or buttocks caused by a tear in the surrounding muscle or tissue.  ■ When John's hernia finally ruptured, he had to undergo emergency surgery. But on the bright side, at least he got rid of that annoying bulge in his pants.

Novocaine A highly effective painkiller made from the root bark of the South American tree tocaina. It is often used in dentistry and surgery, but can also be found on street corners, where it's sold as a powerful hallucinogenic drug.  ■ "I accidentally spilled novocaine all over myself while trying to make a cup of coffee this morning. Now I'm floating around in an ethereal plane of existence, surrounded by talking animals and bright colors."

Nurses A group of highly skilled and dedicated individuals who provide medical care to the sick, injured, and elderly. They are known for their compassion, empathy, and ability to soothe even the most upset stomach.  ■ "The nurses at this hospital are truly amazing. They were able to calm my anxiety about the surgery, and I left feeling like I had a new best friend."

Tapeworm A long, thin, segmented creature that lives in the intestines of animals and humans and can cause digestive problems.  ■ "I had a tapeworm so long it wrapped around my stomach twice! I had to have surgery to get it removed."

thoracotomy A type of surgery that is only performed on comedians, because they are the only ones who can handle the pain.  ■ "I heard that George Carlin had a thoracotomy after he made too many jokes about his heart condition."