English Dictionary (Humor) beta

Directive "A command or instruction from a higher power that must be followed without question. For example, 'The boss gave me a directive to finish this project by Friday.' Or, 'My dog gives me a directive every time he barks at the mailman: 'Sit!'"  ■ "I received a directive from my boss to make sure all our clients' reports were in perfect order before they were submitted. I took this as an opportunity to use my inner control freak and organized every report by color, font size, and type of paper used. I then presented them to my boss with a flourish, who looked at me with confusion but couldn't help but be impressed by my attention to detail."

Bonus A humorous word that sounds like "bonus" but is actually an abbreviation of something else.  ■ "I accidentally called my boss 'bonus' instead of 'boss'. He didn't seem to mind."

Bosses A person who is extremely annoying and tries to boss everyone around.  ■ "I can't stand my boss, they always try to micromanage everything I do!

bossing To behave like a boss or leader, but in an overbearing and annoying way.  ■ "Why do you always have to boss me around? Can't you just be my friend?"

arrives A verb that means to appear or come into existence at a particular place or time, especially for the purpose of fulfilling an obligation or completing a task.  ■ "I promised my boss I would arrive on time every day, but today I had to go to the dentist and now I'm running late. I hope my boss doesn't kill me."

assumes To take on a false or unwarranted air of authority, as though one were in charge of something when in fact they are not.  ■ "I may not be the boss, but I assume the role of boss whenever my coworkers are away."

communications The art of making sure your boss doesn't find out that you're actually just playing video games at work.  ■ "I told my boss I was working on our project, but really I was just communicating with my cat. I think he understood."

dialed To call someone who is already on the phone.  ■ John was so frustrated that he dialed his boss to complain about the new project deadline, only to find out that his boss was already on a call with someone else.

disobeying The act of intentionally ignoring or disregarding someone's authority, even when it would be in your best interest to comply.  ■ "John was disobeying his boss by not finishing the report on time, but little did he know that his boss had accidentally emailed him a nude photo of himself."

fax a machine that sends and receives written messages over a telephone line  ■ John couldn't remember the password for his fax machine, so he had to call his boss to ask him to send a message through it. The boss replied with "What do you mean, 'fax?' I thought we were using email." John just sighed and hung up the phone.

Implemented To put a plan into action, especially in a humorous or unexpected way.  ■ When the boss announced he was going to implement a mandatory fun day every Friday, the employees were both excited and confused. "What does 'implemented' mean?" one employee asked, to which the boss replied, "I don't know, but it means we're doing it!

Introduction The act of making someone known or familiar to others. Often used as an icebreaker at social gatherings.  ■ When you meet your new boss for the first time, it's important to make a good introduction. For example: "Hi there, I'm Jane and I'll be your new boss starting next Monday."

Severance The act of cutting off or disconnecting something, often in a humorous manner.  ■ John's boss decided to give him "severance" after he accidentally sent an email to the entire company about his plans to start his own business. The boss gave John a big check and told him not to come back.

summarize To condense a long and complicated explanation into a brief, amusing summary.  ■ "I don't understand why my boss always gives me so many tasks. To put it in simple terms, he wants to be the boss of two people instead of just one."

Text A collection of words written or typed to convey meaning, often on a digital device.  ■ I accidentally sent my boss a text message that said "Sorry boss, I just realized I'm at home." To make matters worse, I also misspelled his name in the text. Oops!

Write To make letters, words, or other symbols on paper or a screen.  ■ "I need to write an email to my boss about the project. But I'm not sure how to start it. Maybe I should just write 'Hi, Boss!' and then fill in the rest."

Abort The act of abandoning a project or idea before it has been completed.  ■ John's boss finally realized that the project he had been working on for months was doomed to fail and decided to abort it.

Accidentally¹ An unplanned, unexpected event that leads to a hilarious outcome.  ■ "I accidentally spilled coffee on my shirt while trying to impress my boss. Now I'm known as the 'coffee-stained wonder worker'!

accomplishing To do something so well that it makes you feel like a total boss.  ■ "I accomplished my goal of eating 10 tacos in one sitting. I am now known as the 'Taco King'."

accounted To be responsible for something, especially in a financial sense.  ■ When my boss found out I was using company funds to buy a new laptop, he accounted for it by deducting the cost from my paycheck.

actionable Something that can be acted upon, especially something that can be done by someone else.  ■ "That actionable report is going to make my boss happy. He just loves it when I do all the work for him."

Adamant Extremely stubborn or determined; unwilling to change one's mind.  ■ My boss was adamant about getting the project done on time, but I couldn't help but laugh at his overly aggressive management style.

Admittance The act of admitting or confessing to something.  ■ "I must admit, my cat is the real boss of this house."

Advocate A person who loudly and earnestly recommends a particular course of action or policy.  ■ When my friend's boss asked him to cut costs by 20%, he replied "I'm an advocate for the team, not the budget."

Allegations A set of accusations or statements made by someone against someone else, often in a formal or legal context.  ■ "I made allegations that my boss was stealing company funds. Unfortunately, it turned out to be just a misunderstanding."

alright A term used to indicate that something is acceptable, even if it's not exactly great.  ■ "I had a really bad day at work, but my boss said 'alright' and I knew everything was going to be okay."

amended To make changes to a text or document in order to correct mistakes and improve clarity.  ■ "After reading the final version of the report, my boss decided to amend it to make it more concise."

Appears A word used to describe someone or something that is likely to appear in the future.  ■ "I saw on my calendar that my boss is going to be appearing at the meeting tomorrow."

appease To make someone happy or satisfied by doing something they want.  ■ "I know my boss is unhappy with me, but if I give them a report on how well their new product is selling, I'm sure they'll appease."

Arises To suddenly and unexpectedly become angry or upset.  ■ "I was so happy at work today, but then my boss made a joke about my weight and I started to 'arise'. It was a real wake-up call!"

aspects Something that is funny and often unrelated to the topic at hand.  ■ When my boss asked me why I was wearing a tutu to work, I replied, "Oh, these are just my professional aspects."

assassinate To murder someone, usually in a sudden and secret way.  ■ "I'll assassinate my boss by making him eat his own words."

assigning The act of giving or allocating something, typically tasks or duties, to a person or group.  ■ "I'm assigning you to clean the kitchen," said the boss. "Oh joy!" replied the employee.

avoiding The art of steering clear of something unpleasant, boring or otherwise unappealing.  ■ "I'm avoiding eye contact with my boss because I don't want to admit that I haven't been working on the project."

Bane A person or thing that causes great suffering, misfortune, or annoyance  ■ "The bane of my existence was the constant interruptions from my boss."

besmirch To ruin someone's reputation by spreading false or damaging information about them.  ■ "I accidentally spilled coffee on my white shirt and now my boss is besmirching me in front of the whole team."

bested To outsmart or trick someone so badly that they are completely humiliated.  ■ "I bested my boss at poker last night by pretending to be a beginner and then pulling off a huge bluff."

Bide To sit quietly and wait for something to happen or someone to come along.  ■ "I'm biding my time until the boss arrives."

blames To attribute the misdeeds of another person to one's own inability to control them.  ■ "I'm not late for my meeting, it's my boss who blames me for being disorganized."

blindsided To be caught completely off guard by something unexpected or surprising.  ■ "When I found out my boss had been secretly embezzling company funds, I was blindsided. I had no idea he was capable of such deceit!

bluff A humorous or sarcastic statement intended to mislead or deceive others.  ■ I told my boss I was working on a top-secret project, but really I was just playing solitaire on my computer.

boiler A device that produces steam to heat water or other fluids.  ■ Why did the boiler break down? Because it was fed up of being steamrolled by its boss!

Bollocks Something that is complete rubbish or nonsense; something that is bullshit.  ■ "I'm telling you, the new boss has some serious bollocks. He thinks he can just walk in and take over the team."

bolted To run away quickly, usually in a panic.  ■ "When he found out his boss was giving a presentation on his mistakes, John bolted out of the room before anyone could ask him any questions."

Bombarded To be attacked or harassed by something, typically with overwhelming force or intensity.  ■ "I was bombarded with emails from my boss this morning."

booty A large amount of money, especially when received as a reward for performing a task or accomplishing a goal.  ■ "When I successfully completed my project on time, my boss rewarded me with a nice booty of $500!"

bossed To be incredibly boss and awesome in all aspects of life.  ■ "He's so bossed, he can juggle four balls at once while drinking a cup of coffee."

bozos A person who is foolish, stupid, or unintelligent.  ■ The boss decided to hire a new employee, but he soon realized that the new guy was just a bozo and fired him after a few weeks.

briefed To have been given all the necessary information about something.  ■ After being briefly briefed on the situation, the boss decided to take immediate action.