English Dictionary (Humor) beta

alternates to switch between two options, but always choose the wrong one  ■ John alternates between eating pizza and salads at lunch, but somehow manages to order a burger every time.

it The mysterious, elusive, and all-powerful pronoun that can refer to anything at any time.  ■ "I saw it move," said the baffled man. "It was just a pile of rocks, but somehow it had come to life!"

news The information that's too ridiculous to be true, but somehow people believe it anyway.  ■ "I can't believe I just saw a flying spaghetti monster on the news!

prevails The ability to be victorious despite all odds, and yet somehow remain unchanged in personality and demeanor.  ■ "She was able to prevail in the spelling bee, but she still couldn't help but make a joke about it afterwards."

Someway A mysterious and inexplicable manner in which something happens or is achieved.  ■ "I don't know how she did it, but she somehow managed to finish her project on time."

Surviving The act of managing to stay alive or endure hardship.  ■ "Despite the constant bombardment of sarcasm from my coworkers, I somehow managed to survive another day in the office."

charts A graphical representation of data that is used to make information more understandable and visually appealing, but often ends up being a complete mess.  ■ "I was so impressed by my friend's charts! It looked like a chaotic jumble of lines and colors, but somehow I managed to decipher that it represented the stock market performance over the past year."

Collar A thin strip of fabric worn around the neck, often containing a button or buckle to hold it in place.  ■ "I forgot my tie this morning and had to wear my collar without one." "A collar is like a little fashion statement for your neck. It's the only thing on you that isn't constantly moving and talking, yet it somehow manages to convey more about you than your entire wardrobe combined."

frauds A group of people who are incredibly stupid, yet somehow manage to con their way into positions of power and influence.  ■ "The frauds at the top of the company were so incompetent that they accidentally sent an email to all of their clients confessing to embezzlement."

jews A group of people who have been persecuted and oppressed for their religious beliefs, but somehow managed to become the most successful and wealthy group in history.  ■ "Why are Jews so good at making money? Because they were born with a 'dreidel' on their forehead!"

masons A group of people who are very bad at building things, but somehow manage to convince themselves that they are great at it.  ■ "I can't believe my friend hired a bunch of masons to build his deck. It looks like it was built by a blind squirrel with a toothpick."

Miscellaneous A collection of items that do not fit into any specific category or classification, often containing a hodgepodge of things that are dissimilar and unrelated.  ■ The desk drawer was filled with a miscellaneous assortment of items, including a rubber duck, a ballpoint pen, a pair of scissors, and a roll of tape. When the owner tried to find her favorite lip balm, she realized that it had somehow gotten mixed up in this strange collection.

Notification A message or alert that informs the recipient of a new email, text message, social media update, etc. in a way that is so annoying and distracting it makes them want to pull their hair out.  ■ "When my phone emits a shrill notification for every single message I get, I start to wonder if my life would be better without technology. Or if I could somehow train it to only notify me when there's an actual emergency."

Paths The twisted and convoluted journeys that one takes in life, filled with dead ends, detours, and unpredictable turns.  ■ "I've been on so many paths in my life, but somehow I always end up back where I started. It's like I'm cursed to repeat the same mistakes over and over again."

Policemen A group of people who are trained to enforce laws and protect citizens, but somehow always manage to make themselves look like buffoons.  ■ "I accidentally spilled coffee on the policemen's uniforms. They couldn't stop laughing at how funny they looked."

Senator A person who is incredibly old, yet somehow still has the energy to go on social media every single day.  ■ "I don't understand why my grandma insists on posting pictures of her cat every hour on Instagram. She's a senator!"

smarts A mysterious and inexplicable quality possessed by some people, which makes them appear to be extremely intelligent but is actually just a result of sheer luck or happenstance.  ■ "Despite having no actual knowledge or experience in the field, Jane somehow always manages to give off an air of genius whenever it comes to coding. It's like she was born with some sort of special code-writing smarts!

stomachache A mysterious ailment that causes one to feel like they are about to vomit, but never actually do.  ■ "I had the worst stomachache ever yesterday. I was so scared I was going to throw up, but somehow it just passed."

telephones A device used to transmit sound waves over long distances by converting them into an electrical signal and transmitting it through wires or the airwaves. Despite being around for over a century, telephones have somehow managed to maintain their relevance in today's fast-paced world.  ■ "I can't believe my grandfather still uses a rotary telephone! It's like he's stuck in the past."