English Dictionary (Humor) beta

anywhere A place where something or someone is likely to appear.  ■ He said he could meet me anywhere, but not here. I told him, "If you want to see me, go anywhere."

Apology A sincere expression of regret and remorse for a wrongdoing or offense.  ■ "I'm sorry I stole your sandwich. Here, have my apology in the form of this half-eaten bagel."

Away Far from here or from the usual location of something or someone. Also used to indicate a lack of interest, attention, or presence.  ■ "I'm going away for vacation next week."

Banzai A Japanese word that means "go with the flow" or "let's do this!"  ■ "I don't know what I'm doing, but I'll just banzai it from here."

beck A sudden and forceful movement of the head or hand, accompanied by an audible sound, made to signal someone to come closer or turn around.  ■ "I'm beckoning you over here."

Broad 1. Having a large or generous width, as measured by the shoulders or hips.  ■ "I'm sorry, sir, but you can't sit here on the broad bench next to me."

buttercup A person who is excessively cheerful and optimistic, often to the point of being annoying.  ■ "I'm so glad you're here, buttercup. You always know how to make me feel better."

Comfy A feeling of relaxation and comfort, often accompanied by a warm, cozy blanket or a soft couch.  ■ "I'm so comfy right now with my fuzzy slippers on. I could stay here all day!"

Danish A person who is Danish by nationality or descent, or speaks the Danish language.  ■ "I'm not Danish, I'm just here for the pastries."

Earth The crust of the planet we inhabit, also known as the ground.  ■ "I don't know why anyone would ever choose to live on Mars instead of Earth. The grass is always greener here."

Festival A large gathering of people who are here to celebrate something, like a birthday or a holiday.  ■ "I can't believe we actually managed to pull off the world's largest kazoo festival! It was hilarious."

Finale A spectacular and thrilling conclusion to a performance or event.  ■ After weeks of rehearsals, the band's finale was finally here. The audience couldn't wait to see what they had in store for them.

fore A term used to describe something that is about to happen or will soon occur.  ■ I told you I was going to eat a huge sandwich. And here it comes - the fore-sight!

Garish An adjective that describes something in a way that is bright, colorful, and attention-grabbing.  ■ That neon-lit sign on the corner of the street was so garish, it practically screamed "Come in and spend all your money here!"

hotter To be so much hotter than someone else that you are actually starting to feel a little cooler.  ■ "I'm sorry, I just realized I've been hanging out with the wrong crowd. Everyone here is hotter than I am."

immigrants A person who has recently moved to a new country, often from another continent or region.  ■ "Welcome to the United States, my fellow immigrants! May your future here be as successful as your journey across the ocean."

industries noun  ■ Example Usage: "I never thought I'd be a part of the paper industry, but here I am, folding and stapling documents all day."

Inscription The act of making an inscription or the thing itself.  ■ Here's my funny inscription for my friend's birthday: "I hope you have a great day, but if not, just remember I'm always here to make fun of you."

Irritated Feeling angry, annoyed, or bothered by something small.  ■ "When my roommate left dirty dishes in the sink, I couldn't help but feel irritated. Maybe next time they should try doing their part around here."

Lighters A device used to ignite flammable substances such as cigarettes, marijuana, and gasoline.  ■ "Hey man, do you have any lighters? I left my lighter at home and can't find one here."

Litany A series of prayers, often said aloud in a church or other religious setting.  ■ "I have no idea what I'm doing here," muttered John as he recited the litany for the feast day of St. Patrick.

Mike A person who always manages to make everyone else laugh, regardless of how bad the jokes are.  ■ "I'm so glad Mike is here. He always has a way of lightening up any situation with his terrible puns."

Murphy A person or thing associated with unintended consequences, misfortune, or chaos.  ■ When I accidentally spilled my cup of coffee on the floor, I couldn't help but think "Murphy was here."

Mutant A person or thing that is significantly different from the norm, often in a way that is considered strange or abnormal.  ■ That mutant with six arms and a tail was definitely not from around here!

necessity The state of being required by law, custom or morality, for the prevention of something unpleasant or harmful.  ■ "I don't know what the hell is going on here, but I guess necessity is my only option."

northwest A region of the Earth that is so boring, it makes you want to run away screaming.  ■ "I heard there's nothing to do in the northwest. I think I'll just stay here and watch the grass grow."

Otherwise An expression used to indicate that something is different or unusual  ■ "I would have come earlier if it weren't for the otherworldly creature lurking in my closet. Otherwise, I would be here right now."

pax A state of peace and happiness, especially between two or more people.  ■ "I'm glad we reached pax after that argument. It was starting to get heated in here."

penis An elongated organ used for sexual intercourse and urination.  ■ "I have a feeling that this guy is just here to see my penis."

planetary An extremely large, round object in space that orbits the sun.  ■ I forgot to bring my planetary suit for the hike on Mars. I guess now I'm stuck here with only a bunch of dust on my pants.

Rants A long, loud, and often incoherent speech about something that the speaker is passionate about.  ■ "Why can't people just shut up about their dumb rants? I'm trying to watch TV here!"

Refusing The act of politely declining or rejecting something, often accompanied by a sarcastic comment.  ■ "I'm sorry, but I must refusing to eat this moldy sandwich. It smells like a dead fish in here."

Resident A person who lives permanently in a certain place or region.  ■ "I'm a resident of this city, but I have to admit, I'm not quite sure why anyone would want to live here."

Rhymes A series of words or phrases that have the same or similar sounds at the end.  ■ Here are some examples of words that rhyme with "cat": bat, hat, mat, pat, rat, sat, spat, and vat.

said The past tense of the verb "say." Used to indicate that something was previously stated.  ■ "I said I would finish this task by yesterday, but here I am still working on it today!"

sinister an extremely evil or malicious person, especially one who causes harm through deceit or treachery  ■ "I have a feeling that my boss is sinister and has been plotting my downfall since the moment I started working here."

stars Noun: A bright, shining point of light in the sky, often used to represent a celebrity or something important.  ■ Here are some funny stars: 1. Emma Stone, 2. Leonardo DiCaprio, 3. George Clooney, 4. Taylor Swift, 5. Beyoncé

stop A command to pause or end something immediately, often used to express irritation or frustration.  ■ "I'm going to stop right here and demand an explanation for this ridiculous policy!"

supervised having someone watch over your every move, like a shadowy government agency stalking its citizens.  ■ "I'm sorry, but you will be supervised at all times while using the public restroom. We take cleanliness very seriously here."

thermal An extremely hot and uncomfortable temperature, often caused by excessive exposure to the sun or other heat sources.  ■ "Wow, it's so hot in here! I think I'm turning into a thermal reactor!"

Tombstone A large stone slab used to mark the grave of someone.  ■ "I hope my tombstone reads 'Here lies a funny guy who made people laugh until they cried.'"

unexpected A situation or event that catches you off guard and makes you say "oh, my goodness!" or "what the heck?"  ■ "I never expected to win the lottery, but here I am with a million dollars in my pocket!

Upholstery A soft and luxurious fabric, usually made of leather or velvet, used to cover furniture.  ■ The upholstery on my couch is so comfortable, I could spend all day lounging here.

whats A term used to express confusion or incomprehension.  ■ I don't understand whats going on here. Can someone explain?

Your A possessive pronoun used to show ownership or possession of something.  ■ You're mine! I own everything you do, including your thoughts and feelings. I'm the boss here.

Arctic A region of extreme cold, with a lot of ice and snow. It's really, really chilly up here.  ■ "I heard they found a new species of bird in the Arctic that only sings when it's snowing. It's called the 'Snowy Owl of Comedy'."

checker A person who is extremely particular and pays close attention to detail, often in a way that can be annoying or tedious.  ■ "I don't understand why my boss insists on having me check every single report before it goes out. It's like we have an army of checkers working here."

colonization The process of establishing settlements and claiming possession of foreign territories.  ■ Here are some funny examples of colonization:1. "When the aliens arrived on Earth, they claimed that they had been sent by the Queen to colonize our planet."2. "My grandma's family came from Scotland and settled in the United States during the colonial era. They were quite proud of their Scottish heritage, even though it made them the butt of many jokes."3. "The British have a long history of colonizing other countries, but it's important to remember that not all colonies are created equal.

counter A device used to count something, but also doubles as a source of endless amusement for the user.  ■ "I've been using this counter for years and it's never stopped making me laugh. Every time I use it, I can't help but think 'oh no, here comes another round of "click click click"'.